A bit of a cheat as I saw this last weekend. But my thoughts are quick.
Watching this movie was like being trapped in a room with a billion balloons and a man with a pin.
No camp. No fun.
Overall, I wish great things for Kyle Gallner and maybe now a few more people will know who Connie Britton and Clancy Brown are (by the way - did you know Clancy Brown is the voice of Mr. Krabs? This fact has been blowing my mind for a year now). And as always Jackie Earle Haley was creeptastic. But I suggest you pop on over to Netflix and watch the original on demand. At least you'll get some Johnny Depp.
As an aside, I'm going to make a film and cast Jackie Earle Haley as the dashing male comedic lead. It'll be great.